Sunday, June 1, 2008

Sweet Adeline


That little lady has been My Mother-In-Law for almost 36 years. We are going to visit her this afternoon.
She used to have a tiny little house in Parkville. This little house was`nt much as far as houses go, and it needed a world of improvements , but she loved that house so much, it was her half acre of heaven. She and her husband Don, raised four kids in that tiny two bedroom house.
Her name is Adeline, She and I did`nt have the best start on a relationship when i first married her son, but after the first few years of my marriage, we began to grow closer. We put aside our differances, and began to really like each other, then it grew into love but most importantly, it grew into a mutual respect for each other.
Adeline married an older man, she was just 18, and Don was about 36, quite an age differance. She became a widow in her 40`s. She never remarried, would not even consider such a thing. Don was her husband, then and forever. After he died, she picked up the peices and took care of herself, and that little house without help from anyone.
Adelines best days were when her kids and grandkids came to visit, and we did that often. Some days we spent our time there playing Kanasta, she was a Kanasta freak, and she`d cheat, she was nortorious for her cheating. Did`nt matter if she was playing against adults or her grandchildren, if the opportunity arose, she`d cheat. Some nights we`d play table up, we`d sit around the table, palms down, and ask the spirits to raise the table, they did quite often too. Then there were days we`d just sit out on her swing sipping coffee. But always, no matter what we were there for, she`d be in her glory fixing us a little something to eat. That woman could make a big meal out of nothing, that always amazed me about her.
My Mother in Law no longer lives in that little house in Parkville, in fact, the little house is now gone, torn down years ago. It`s very sad driving by and seeing it gone. We don`t drive by very often. Life has changed drastically for her and for the family who loves her.
That little lady above lives in a home for people with ahlzeimers and dimentia. Adeline has dimentia. When we go there, we talk about the old days because she cannot remember the recent past. When we visit her, she has forgotten we were there 5 minutes after we have left. We have come home only to answer the phone and have her tell us she has not seen us in forever and when are we coming to visit? Somedays, she wakes up confused and does`nt know how she got there, she`s been there 4 years.
Our rolls have been reversed, she is now childlike, and we are the adults. Conversations are exactly the same now for ever visit. I often wonder what it must be like waking up and having not one memory from yesterday. it seems to me it would be like waking up in a black hole. Nothing there.
But, somethings have not changed. her happiest days are still when her family comes to visit, she still has her funny personality, and on her good days, you can almost forget about all the things that have been taken from her by this disease. She lives now literally in the moment, so today we are going to go and give her a few happy moments...........and bring her some smokes, she has`nt forgotten that!!
I feel kind of freaky, cuz, it`s unnatural to like your mother in law, but i always have.

10 comments:

De-ranged mom said...

I no what you mean I call one a week she always askes my mom when I am going ot call. I admit I should go see her more when I get down there. I just run out of time. That is sad but true.

P.S. I thought you were some frek. When you went on my blog and said Wade was cute. I now no it was you LOL LOL

sulli said...

your not a freak for that reason... I love my mother in law too. Theres other reasons you should consider yourself a freak. Not to mention bad influence... coercing a stout catholic woman to talk to spirits... tsk tsk...

I`m Sassy, said...

haha de-ranged......just a bit of a freak!

And sulli, SHE taught us to talk to spirits!

sulli said...

LOL! no way... you probably got spirits and saints mixed up. or maybe your just remembering incorrectly... remember when she would bang her knuckles on the table and say red three ace or joker? The table would jump, but I think that was part of her game... not calling on the dead...

Beth said...

thanks for stopping by my blog...and how sweet that you actually LIKE your MIL. and dementia is so hard to deal with....I think I'm starting that with my own mother. ugh.

She looks like a very sweet lady.

dani-bell said...

I think that was an amazing post.

sniffle said...

What????????????? I don't know wheather to be upset(which would be hard becuse I like you so much or to cry cause You never let me in before on your blog?....sniffle sniffle...why OOhh why was I left out? now I need to go read!!

me said...

that was beautiful i can always remeber as being one of the sweetest ladies. And sometimes I wonder to how ones with dementia get threw it.

I`m Sassy, said...

Sniffle, i was just getting feelers, i did`nt let anyone know till last week hehe

Thanks for stopping in Beth, and remember.....a sense of humor helps in these situations.

Awee thank you dani belle , l love you!

me, she is still sweet, and a pretty tough cookie.

noble pig said...

Oh poor thing...my father died from complications with alzheimer's...it's so hard! She's adorable.