Several years ago, My Sis-In-Law and I decided to go on a great adventure, we took a Greyhound to the Big Apple, you got it, NYC. It was a blast, and a trip that will never be forgotten, and always , ALWAYS makes me laugh still. Only two hicks could have so much fun on a Greyhound.
Looking back, it kinda-sorta reminds me of the Beverly Hillbillys minus the cash flow. Seriously, it does.
This is the list of things i learned on that big adventure.
1. Never bring fried chicken on your bus trip, honestly, people will stare at you, and spell out the word FREAK with their eyes. And, it smells up the entire bus.
2. Never allow Sis-In-Law to pack her own HUGE bag, it will weigh at least 200 pounds.
3. Friendships made on a Greyhound only last as long as your cigarettes hold out. So so shallow.
4. When Sis in Law is spotted falling OUT of the bus, pretend you never saw it, let the bus driver deal with, that`s why we pay him the big bucks. it works like a charm.
5. When Sis in Law falls inside of McDonalds, pretend it did`nt happen, just grab her bagged burger and fries while passing by and say, " See you on the bus." Totally ignore the kind helpful man being swatted away by said Sis In Law. THIS WORKS.
6. When nightfalls and it`s time to sleep on the bus and passenger in front of you is snoring, just gently but VERY firmly, press your knee into her seat and knee her. Sis In Law will stop her snoring, repeat as needed.
7. When confronted on a bus by a drug crazed man acting STRANGE, stay calm, trust Your bus driver to call police and have him removed from the bus. Never a dull moment when you travel Greyhound.
8. Just smile and pretend you don`t know the woman throwing a fit on the bus because there is nowhere to sit, follower her off the bus, shrug your shoulders and roll your eyes, insinuating to the people on the bus that yeah, ain`t she crazy? Wait to reprimand Sis In Law when you get off the bus.
That is pretty much most of the valuable lessons i learned on my two day Greyhound trip, but the fun did`nt end there, pulling into Port Authority Bus Depot in the wee hours of the morning were so so exciting and hysterical. I`ll tell you tomarrow!